apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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