I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
