so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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