If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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