Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
