You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My hand turned me down
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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