when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
