he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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