This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
