this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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