i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
