I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
