why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
