that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm passing your future prison.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
