is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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