Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
