I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
