So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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