I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
