So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
