They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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