Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
whose ass print is on the piano?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
