The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
