So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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