After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
