i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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