She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
