Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
worst night to have a conscience
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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