the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
