she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
