So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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