Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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