I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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