people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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