I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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