It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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