ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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