Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
