I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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