Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
