I want to make a zoo with you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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