I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
