i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
