do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
