Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
