Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
