woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
