Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
