Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
