You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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