he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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