I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
