is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
