Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
