singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
