All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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