I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
