Plan B is the new Plan A
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
