is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
