fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
