dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
