so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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