there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
